Oflate I have been thinking....

The past few days have been hectic. I have worked with chartwells everyday on 8 hour shifts. I can increasingly see that "to excel in everything we do" from Atlas shrugged actually makes sense now. No, I may not be the best, but I am learning fast. More importantly my boss sees me as someone dependable, clean and trustworthy. If she could do it, she would like me to work for more hours. I didnot realize that I was good enough there to work. What exactly I mean is, I dont have much have of an experience in food service. Within a matter of weeks, not only that I have learnt the essentialities and intricasies of catering, but I have also developed a good rapport with my co-workers and superiors. I used to wonder sometimes, is it really worthy to strive to excel in everything one does, like simple trivial things - making a sandwich. And even if one does, we dont seem to get the appropriate returns. After striving for so long, when I look back, I can still see so many instances wherein I could have done better, however, on the whole, I have done well in almost everything I have tried sincerely. The bad side effect is that I am increasingly showing antipathy towords rest of the world. Initially I had expected gratification in the form of their recongnition for my hardwork. But that does not happen in real world. To balance between this disappointment and urge to do well, I have started to disregard the views the rest of the world. This gives me a sense of peace, but I realize that, I have increasingly become stubborn and reckless in my life with the mindless urge to accomplish what I think right irrespective of the outcome or the effects of my actions on others. I am not sure if this ruthlessness should be maintained albeit within control or I should become more softer.

Everyday is a new day and everyday we grow. I hope I have enough blessings to understand the growth in me.